Making the decision to end a marriage is never easy, but when children are involved, it’s even more difficult. Just because a relationship doesn’t work doesn’t mean the people involved are bad parents. Many couples stay together because they are so worried about how divorce might harm their children.

According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, most divorces in the U.S. involve minor children. Adjusting to divorce is difficult for children, and it can be more difficult if the adults in their lives don’t handle things well. However, living with parents who argue and are obviously unhappy also takes a toll on kids.

What Does Staying Together Model For Children?

Most mental health experts agree that staying in an unhappy partnership doesn’t benefit anyone, including your children. When you know in your heart a relationship is over, but you continue living and acting as if it’s not, tension and resentment are sure to grow.

To children, tension in the home is palpable. Everyone knows it’s there, but no one is speaking about it. This creates a toxic environment that can be worse for a child than having parents who are divorced but happy.

This is especially true when one parent is struggling with a substance use issue or is abusive to their spouse or children. Getting a divorce can be the best way to remove your children from an unsafe environment and give them an opportunity to begin healing from past traumas.

On the other hand, staying in an unsafe relationship teaches children that it is normal to abuse others and that abuse should be accepted. Watching the dynamics of their parents’ unhealthy relationship play out day after day teaches children that they have no control over their own lives and that being unhappy is okay.

Will Children Be Traumatized By Divorce?

Children could suffer emotional trauma if their parents use divorce issues to continue fighting with one another. Arguing over things like child custody and visitation or using children as pawns in various power games can be extremely harmful.

However, parents who behave that way during divorce are likely to behave that way in marriage as well. Research suggests that children living with married parents where the conflict level is high are no better off than children of single parents.

In all cases, parents who treat one another with kindness and respect — no matter their marital status — help children build healthy expectations and boundaries for their future relationships.

Staying Together Could Lead To Neglect

People who decide to stay married for the sake of their kids are sincerely trying to do the best thing for their children. However, one of the risks of staying in an unhappy marriage is becoming preoccupied with all of your own issues. A distracted parent may not be physically or emotionally available to their child.

Living in the tension and emptiness of a failed relationship can lead to depression and other mental health concerns that further compromise a person’s ability to be the parent they want to be. If your relationship is not repairable and you are no longer able to cooperate as co-parents, speaking with a family lawyer may open a path to improved happiness for everyone.

When Divorce Is the Right Move For You and Your Children

Divorce is a difficult and sometimes painful adjustment for children. Parents can help minimize the difficulty by being kind and respectful when speaking about or communicating with their ex-spouse. Listening to children and addressing their concerns is also important.

If your family has trouble expressing their thoughts and emotions, consider going to a family therapist and learning better ways to communicate with one another.

Divorce doesn’t have to be the end of a happy childhood. When managed correctly, divorce can lead the way to better parent-child relationships.

Contact the Washington Child Custody Lawyers at Twyford Law Office To Get Legal Assistance Today At (206) 590-7085

To learn more and get the help you deserve, call our child custody lawyers or reach out to Twyford Law Office online by visiting our contact us page.

We serve in King County and Spokane County in Washington and its surrounding areas. You can also visit our offices. We are conveniently located in Seattle, Spokane & Bellevue:

Twyford Law Office – Seattle Office
814 Second Avenue, Suite 515,
Seattle, WA 98104
(206) 590-7085

Twyford Law Office – Spokane Office
430 W Indiana Ave,
Spokane, WA 99205.
(509) 327 0777

Twyford Law Office – Bellevue Office
1408 140th Pl NE Suite 400,
Bellevue, WA 98007
(425) 517-3350